Shadow Snow

onyx blade of her loves brutal blow

lands hard and deep into my soul

piercing the armor of the nights light-less glow
exposing me to her own deepened metal poison

slowly seeping sundering self

surrendering swiftly surely and supremely

to her self i cease to care if i exist

my lady love death smiles and turns away

she understands this is no mere play

this wound is real and here to stay

but not enough to take me to her

i find the pain suffocates me

leaving me blind to the the fact

that i dont bleed alone

and somewhere as i twist and turn

it strikes me

that its around her body that i writhe

and hers to mine

we slowly bleed out

into one another's waiting heart

and we cease to be two

a shadowed snow angel

formed in blood

proves as our only proof

we were never one

The World Seems Smaller Now

The World Seems Smaller Now The World Seems Smaller now. i am not going to waste you time telling you why you probably wouldnt even care if i did when its all gone, long after me you'll all ask what the hell did he see i know the answers ive seen them through the flames if you ever wonder just ask just dont wait to long soon the world will cease to be which is just fine with me, i dont even need to be to see i read the flames and time runs so much quicker i know its all over soon i cant wait sad i wont see the world cease to be i wonder when im gone if it will seem to be that much smaller without me? Smaller Now Smaller Everyday Smaller without You smaller than this wasted life i never got a chance to be. i wanna tell you all about it but whats the point you'll never see i understood once the way to happiness was passion found inside your flame burned alive it was the sweetest pain ive ever seen i spent my whole life looking for you if you knew just how much i understood i know just what you think of me the truth is that i am just what you said id be but the world seems smaller now and i dont fit.

quench

risen and thirst quenching need drives me

i once was so free

now every night i look to see

another world that awaits me

the pain of knowing your doom is found in me

i keep drinking you in

absorbing you as you absorb me

a new life found in we

i live eternally

a gift and curse i am desperate to give thee

spark of insanity burns me until

the embers are blowing free

catching you

burning she

ill consume you

my

snow white queen

beginning again

fear isnt the end

it begins again

alone i break

yet still i rise

a phoenix i can not die

alone the fear begins again

that i may be the living end

time runs out until its gone

and the shadows forever will abound

escalating lines to tell the tale

of a moment when this god fell

accomplish little to explain the act in great detail

i who am as one alone

fear my mental space no longer my own

fear isnt the end

it has begun

again

your soul

hate lusts loves last pain

washing away like tears in the rain

there is no way we can place blame

i am not even close to sane

babble mindless

fear blinds us

rage fills

hate spills

glory in each passing word

we are just as clear as you have heard

clarity given in hopes of hate

that you will see

there is no fate

i had one once

yours blinds me still

mine was sold

by my free will

an even trade

to feel no pain

Twilight

twilight inside the mind of the sane i exist to perpetrate the madness of thought i give life to the formless i grant voice to the chaos your world is light, and shadows play i am the moment before the gray my life is without merit if it isnt shared and i only wish there was more there come now taste the despair and know forever i am there

impulse

impulse tick tock ticking fox sly as i see us wind into one becoming unsung listen to the screams no longer dreams everything for once is as it seems i am closer still my power drunk orgy finally nearing fill sexual impulse is almost nil no longer fun simply getting done i am almost complete your time is is as fleeting sand running at last thin in hand i am closer still to owning him.

Doomed

doomed. panic chaos violence discord madness mindless destructive force powers of pain and damnation collide each new soul a victim tonight forever bonded through and through after this night i shall soar a semi bound thought never more.

Burning Whole

burning whole. love unto the proven end you come home again i waken to the gentle sound of your lust all around your fingers seek and find the hidden place inside my mind my soul is found in the lost seconds in between the beat of your heart and the things unseen your quickened breath alerts my soul to the growing fire deep in the cold each time you flee i fail and fall and seem i never rise at all join my searing burning soul i can make you whole each passing age seems as though another day has come and gone my love ages as i do not i am forgotten am i not i waken once again to reach out and dance again to tangle deep inside your velvet heart my only hope is all i've ever known yet each moment seems to pass and alas you pass from me with it soon come the day i wake no more but inside i wish for just one more dance to dream heart to glean soul to keep and moment to exist fire burn me all away but first burn eternal my love this day bring her home and let her stay and tomorrow i shall blow away.

Free Will

free will. when in death i am found alone questions will a bound again fear not my holy ones regret nothing is as it seems deception i age no less time i grow no more stagnant i have nothing left to give hollow a choice was made decision life was made conception proof of forever denial pain was chosen sadist life is broken dead

Molested

molested outside the world weeps bodies moving in tangled sheets and deep inside i am molested by ideas deep and with full scope it gets ever so hard these days to cope i often wonder if she'll care so callus alone just sitting there watching me as i go insane achieving things you have not seen darkness crawling in between does challenge and convey the fact that i alone am staring back within each word a million meanings but in not a one do i find gleaning jewels of truth or hidden fact i wish it all would fade to black.

Away.

Away. even until the light fades and shadows fail i dream in the colors of a wail hidden inside the burning time a simple truth illuminates my mind formed unto forever's end this simple refrain screams back again oh joyous love of my demise bring me back between your thighs hold me close as i fade away draining deep inside to stay the life i had just given free push, push, push to me rolling thrusts pounded home my bone crushed to reach your inner home as breath fades away into the the deepest black of the nights final dawn the light is in no hurry back for each passing second the shadows take you back and as the light returns to day i am left to wonder why wont i fade away

Bound: reality

Bound: reality As the sun greets me again i know another day grants me another day so hard to march on im so sleepy days are becoming torture soon the night shall recede again that hour is taken away light grants shadows unto the shadow of my self why cant i escape the fear the dreams come again soon i suspect ill fly i will wake wishing to die as i realize im weak inside i cant escape the pain of being here how long must i wait how much shall i suffer how can i go on why should i try what does it matter i should just let him out The End Omega dawn, fleeting Ember release the whole, make one the keys free the power bring the world to its knees he is hate i am he i am born i am need desire grants the power we seek drink it in, suck it down i am closer now reality bound *Edit* sorry if this makes no sense i cant explain it it doesnt really rhyme it isnt supposed to it just is.

Evaporating me

evaporating me.

a billion fake words

a trillion little lies

a gaggle of failed hopes

a tiny forgotten die

rolled forever ago to cast my fate

hidden under a desk

and i am mist

I am Lost

i am lost. lost in haze my mind a maze 3 of us confirmed inside i wish i could watch them die i dont know how i can be alone i break this insanity your life is lost to my free will i am not just who i kill i wont rest until im dead inside i cant get ahead you chose to eradicate my soul is a random bait demons in the form of man arising to the promised land your god forsakes my every breath i all i wish is for my death i cant stand the pain inside you just wont let me fly off this cliff heel over head but i still crash land ahead death is not for my kind you shall all be left behind and i await the one i lost forever now i am lost

Closer To Gone

closer to gone pressing into the deepest part of the blackness in my heart a cold wave blows its call calling unto a slave pulling me to my grave the conflict of souls polar opposite opposition offering no remorse i am slowly losing a controlling force give form given flight i am close so close the night calls i am her son i feel as if the shadows and i are one i accelerate faster in my mind searching for the answers that are mine gathering speed mounting force apocalypse's illuminant glow radiates within my soul lighting my way back home to the shadows to which i belong a little closer now to gone.

Drugged

druged heroin dreams inspire shallow thoughts vicoden nightmares bring my release Valium thoughts drift me off to terror filled days nicotine withdraw calms my fingers to provide these words marijuana waves provide halcyon days of unimagined bliss ecstasy waves of pleasure wash over my bones alcohol fueled orgys tear my soul away when i lost my soul, i was found. at the bottom of those bottles gone away i drift, and hope for no more days.

Being

Being failing in life falling down sleep life as love just kills me once upon a time i endeavored to sleep i slumbered long and deep you forgotten in a memory rotting then Milena later you came round again and woke me to a miserable fate last to know what happened to me fear splits my soul in twain i exist in pure pain sleep kept me sane forever i exist alone in all this i scream in a hiss i can only weep in sheets pouring rain illustrate breath is fleeting heart beating im still needing your still fleeing i continue being

Scent

Scent assaulted by my failure hidden in my shame surrounded by my love lust has driven me insane one last time to hold your scent one last time in your sex your furious heat melts my resistance to temptation losing you has cost my world a goddess true and indeed i did weep for you silent tears roll from my soul on the floor and there they glow forever stained inside the grain permanent reminder of my shame i waited so long i lost it all not once but again i fail so in spite of it all im all alone to watch you go again your gone forever i fear alas i sit awaiting your day i shall alight then and fly away a lost and forgotten man its ok to smile i believe in you now as i did then

two lines, thirteen times

two lines, thirteen times darkness bleeding sadness seething always breathing anger seething hidden hated ripped up raided fought and i fear the madness i hear souless burning people not learning like sheep keep hearding i keep hurting souless yearning fucked and rotten screwed and forgotten hidden i fear the end is now here blasted to hell killing myself burning the dead forgoten in my head my eyes see red i blink your dead

Will I Ever Be

will i ever be? glory in the red safe on your bed stilling the voices in my head vision blurred ache in my head lines crossed hes coming fading sounds of your voice from afar i beg you run flee escape from me FREE at last to fix the things he thought would last tear down his home stop being a drone hiding here living in fear older that time born in brine salted hate you needed me then and i am forever NO i have a life you'll ruin it again you cant be my only friend i will exist without you again i can be free of your disease but will i ever be will i ever be be free im afraid hes coming to get me soon and i dont know what to do

An Origin in Words

an origin in words conscripted in blood consigned to terror controlling interest in agony commiserate conscientiously continuing coldly dying deep disguised deadly dear die disgusting determent due diligence done fear fly live die exist lie gone my life alone

i would gladly die

i would gladly die zero hope null chance forbidden joy denied lust rusted swings snow colored dreams time spent walking into the night to find the one who bordered the light slowly driven deeply in only to lose you time and time again how does time deny the one who lives outside governed by the laws of lies you were taken from my eyes given free to another fool i exist to long for you i await the daylights coming that i may fade into nothing day does come and day doth go i exist though the cycle goes again you come round to me to teach me what i should be broken now and driven deep inside once again on the swings i did ride another journey lost within my mind god laughs upon my soul he alights the fires of my loss exposing my failures to the world you laugh and i die but to hold her one more time, i would gladly die

the last day

the last day as the lace slips up your thigh, white as the day i wish you mine i look to your dress and realize i need to have you now this moment fabric makes a sound like a sigh, moving up your hips i want to be inside your lust, need to feel your heat accept my heart gloves bracing me up, mascara running down your cheek as you start to weep not quite sure what it means, too desperate to stop feeling the heat of your breath now i hear you cry slower now not to soon to die, woman this may be our only time for this i shall surely die later now your gone from me whats the use of trying to be anything more than the waste you see i held you once, and that was glory now i am hollow and lonely face to face with the mirror man i await fates cold hand bottle of pills and razors edge death shall now take my hand and i shall meet you in a better land gone now i exist in the memory of a kiss on your lips a hand uoon your hip a torrid night i could not forgive your the woman i could not forget.

Dwindled Dreams

Dwindled Dreams the end of a dream the death of my joy the rotting soul inside each and everyday i continue to die born that way i exist in pain hurt longing pain sobbing forever is just a dream how can i be clean if every time i try i realize what it is once more to die fuck the dream

Until i am whole.

Until i am whole. the night calls again red rain falls down clouding the night air mind racing slept so long hungry so different so rapid the thirst runs me now down the river of its lush vibrancy of crimson taste of copper roses POWER dead ring heated thing bleeding wounds of lusts force open now to my main course 2 years buried under dreaming lies found a reason given time risen still i am the chill the shudder of death the father of nil nul and void empty soul i shall drink again until i am whole.

stand tall

stand tall Void timeless formless abject hate haze in the nothing slowly coalescing into form a form that will be me in time i will breath someday i will see and it will be enough for me to know you to care to see you die when there's no one there but it wont be enough for long i am greedy i want it all soon a light going out will be to small to see the world die to see the wingless angels try to fly silly people lay down to fry like demonic screams it fills my eyes my ears run rich the sight of it all a world in flames where i stand tall

Infected

infected soul seeps out through the hole in my heart questions abound riddles on the ground abject desire relights the fire or a life time ago a lights age of time and space taken me back to a simpler day when i was whole with nary a blemish on my soul once you light the darker side and in the light i didnt shine instead i died a little and fried inside the pain you caused had me run from it all embrace the pain listen to madness refrain the twisted sounds re verb up from the ground melted down these words drown soul infected evil now resurrected a life time later the hole in my soul allows the seeping that denied my weeping and emotions to flee i look upon the eyes of the night and nothing sees me.

memory fails my name

memory fails my name this is the sound of memory failing me immortality riven from my soul kiss my eyes i lay to sleep risen never again traded my life for one more chance to be you guardian this night and hold your fears at bay corporeal no longer now i am the dreaming monster soon i lay for the last time i take this time to say the things i needed to share this is the sound of the sand running out from within my hand spilling to the ground with every second wasted waiting for the last night of this this miserable life i am now done with this shit time has expired so much like my desire i can get no higher and so i shall crash into the floor and then my world is so much an open door life's secrets laid bare the pain is all explained there my life is meaningless to the outside inside its weight to much no one should bear the thought of it so many secrets here i look to the sky and wonder if mother will shed her tears when i die send her rain wash away the mistakes the pain my name

Seek Love

seek love a billion souls alight burning in the sea sea of infidelity cursing each pair of thighs a foreign lust a million tiny sighs seeds planted and children born forever doomed to run amok parents died with their hands tied by a society who'd rather hide this cant all be the fate i survived this world for why must we ignore the instinct to abhor fight the stupid whores who can be no more lust rules most everything and people all are whores given intellect we choose to regret and hide or selfs in that children are no more our future than we can open doors show them a different way we should all die we can no longer fly given up on each other we seek love in your mother.

Flying

Flying.

i keep hoping that you will keep trying
fact remains you are still dying
get your fuckin gun
go get your wepon stan
while the reaper keeps grinding
the sparks are blinding
your heart to the truth
doesn't one person give a fuck about you

so keep crying
wont change the fact you are still dying
so keep trying
futile attempts to start flying

men as race are to stupid to fly
each and everyone of your spirits die
not single thing to do but keep riding
hoping in the end the flim fades
to cut black have it all fade away

so keep crying
wont change the fact you are still dying
so keep trying
futile attempts to keep flying

FIRE
burn it down
BEAT
me to the ground
FAITH
lost all my faith in you
REAPER
come cleave me in TWO

So keep keep dying
Souls
yours just are not flying


(c) Ember 2009

4 lines of truth

4 lines of truth condemned controlled kindness dead free to fail fail to flee forever for a moment a moment for never dying to kill killing to live can no longer be i am nothing i am dead i am worthless i am me

insanity is my name.

insanity is my name. insane is watching her fear insane is letting her fail insane is the feeling of helplessness insane is the idea shes is less than a goddess insane is the floundering she must go through insane is the joy i feel when i hear her voice in my head insane is watching her be nervous on the day she should be happy insane is the idea i can do better insane is the need i feel for her touch insane is this desire to hold her insane is her smiles radiant glow insane is her hairs bounce as it moves over her shoulders insane is watching it all again insane is doing this over and over thinking things will change insane is me insane is a love that will never be insane is the happiness i feel for her joy insanity is my name

a final prayer (or) moments in depair.

a final prayer (or) moments in depair. as the day light breaks over me i know i am doomed till now ive lived my life for myself its been my way for an eternity i cant believe i lost this way forever seemed so short, when the nights are all i see i lost count of the meals i consumed the nights of passionate blood lust deepened shadows claimed her again but that was before today the last time i care now the world once again has meaning how can i live on this way fooled again to believe i had loved you taken back to the nights shadow i am hollow and broken up inside your soul you were never real to me you were a shadow soul of the one that got away and as i cry the blood tears fall from my eye i am so done unwilling to be in the absence of thee i know i cant ever find you I'm so sick of seeking so much pain the passing Millenniums bring i cant remember the last time i was free of the pain of you and me this is it the moments between the pain and the sin the pain and the blame of a life with no shame you couldn't be mine and i couldn't be contained so much free to read and be seen all that mattered was your heartbeat in rhythm with mine but now all these years gone by i understand every passing moment is another moment i get away from you so now as i lay me down to sleep i pray oblivion draw me deep if i should once more wake i pray my life you take ill never make it on this life

Forget

forget

stellar dreams of gossamer web
upon my light you build your dead
lost in light soon darkness found
a place inside where souls abound
drink your fill and leave me dry
i am just a passerby
life goes on and i forget
that i exist

history

history as night burns and daylight dies a million failed lights of the stars burned out life has died death no longer lives there is nothing but me i forgot long ago my name and the sound of my voice has not broken the silence of my tomb in a millennium it sours the freedom of my soul to be so alone but i am home awake now such a long time the sun burned out the stars have no shine the darkness cradles my every thought and i wonder is to live the price i must pay for the fateful choice i made that day i can no longer bear the thought of living here a prison with no light i am damned

Monster

monster is faith in you fair? is fair the word we find? with in each future a past i've seen the past gives me a chance to change the future a failure to be god i hate the idea of living so much nothing is hard to swallow loathe me hate my mind give me nothing shatter the places i hide so much passion for something so wrong fear failing faster forsake me longer i am that monster

Condition of surrender

Condition of surrender i give up i give in i gave to you i take nothing i ask for your love i look to the stars above i wait for you you have gone away taken from my sight to bask in an others light but it remains my desire to see you achieve the happiness i believe your heart deserves it is no more a fading dream it is in fact a terrible thing your gone so far gone that i feel i am not that strong it is the term of my life that i do long to see you do wrong hold me now just this once when the break of day strikes and i am thrust awake it is with you my soul you'll take and i shall live another day upon my heart your namesake and on that day i finally sleep the dream of you from which i wont awake it is my fate to take my place upon your heart and rest until the heavens quake when at last you forget my given name I'll still love your soul until you remember the thing that's true my eternal soul, is forever in love with you.

remember?

remember? love hurts i hate you smile heart sinks this pain given free means endless torture in me i am whole no more to be a single thing beyond memory ......... .......... ......... ....... ..... remember?

War

War upon a darkened day my soul seeks to play free among the stars the hatred whispers from afar "join me now, and let us play, a billion souls we will reap today" i run off sailing to great the wind confident i shall rise again power swell, as people yell slaughter evident in every resident many souls and blood did fall all so i could stand up tall war you see is the name that was given me by he the most high great deceiver of the sky i ride a red horse, and children fear me most i am war i shall ride until the children of god, are no more.

untitled (for now)

untitled (for now) inside a line of broken words a million lies in a single verb love is a cursed fucking word a paragraph of every lie each and every line a memory stitched in time a reminder of the places and people who left me behind my life is so, as i made it be and you wont hear a fucking thing from me not a complaint not a rhyme not one lousy little alibi all choices made were made by me even if not the person i thought i should be a broken heart and shattered core a stupid bastard without a soul people hurt and thats a fact even if i could id never take it back i cant make you understand dont ask me to, im still a man not in the sense of a macho thing but as a human i fail to be just like you and i hate that but i am soon gone and not coming back if you had just one last chance would you ever wanna face me like that?

Feed Me

Feed Me Fear i smell it once more I'm gonna stalk to be made whole i feel the cold once more and i know i failed my last chance not another moment spent the blackness is bent to consume i need to feel your blood race to bleed your manic need my will to feed ill consume you take your soul leave you just like me broken, dying, cold i am not nor can i be the human being you think you see i am he that manifest maniac psychopath no longer do i fear the darkest path im headed to a place and im not coming back sick of this lie not another moment FEED ME

Passions Embrace

passions embrace nights in your arms each morning wakes to take away the dreams that make me stay life is not what i want see another day to restrain you from me i yearn to see you free to make another choice so long ago a moments hesitation cost me life worth living is it any wonder people fear that tomorrow comes and i'll not appear death i find a welcome choice opposed to the empty screaming voice but i am strong and i will not embrace a thing so cheap as to take the nights that make me see that i will have another moment to bleed passions embrace taken from me

Seven Deadly Sins

Seven Deadly Sins Seven Deadly Sins Lust is growing swelling and burns Like a Glutton each passing word inspires my need for more Greed exceed my understanding and i seem to offer up anything for one more word Cant be Lazy to nourish this thing, this all consuming fire Every passing second of silence fuels my burning Ire In the passing moments of the cold dark night, i envy how he steals your fire in my fall i recognize the Pride i take in my desire, who is he that i can not best These seven sins are nothing like the rest

I Hide

i hide. beaten broken battered and scarred reavers reap and roam near and far hedonistic heretic happens to herald harsh happenings here and now alone i break and bound for the floor i fall faster than the falling comets causing chaos fear failing faster furthering fallen souls seeping seratonin separates our soul hate hears he who has no soul she sees my smile and sees not the serration serrated smile sings of death and calm i hide behind a serrated grin

Watch it fall

watch it fall insanity drips pouring from the open wound absconding with my every waking mood feeling less wanting more i exist im not a whore never satisfied i need it now give it too me im not asking how please release me let me flow watch it drip down it goes from deep inside when i did explode a new life maybe another go ill give it too you this stabbing hate over and over deep and late early and shallow does my breath fall ill give it too you and watch it fall

absence of me

absence of me yeah i get it im an outcast hated reviled living life never looking back as if i gave a fuck about that im mad as hell and kickin back you cant imagine the pain inside the mind of midnight darkness swallows me like a woman on her knees pushing back against you is my idea of being free this thing is all i need so be it i'm me and don't give a fuck about what you see you can never reach the plateau to even see me what the hell gives you the right to vilify and condemn you who mindlessly await the living end once more and alone sheep until the end i rage in the light exposed as the shade another worthless nothing lost and inside breathing beating filling the desperate void created in you with the absence of me