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Thursday, July 4, 2013

A Ripple in Time

push and pull
like times heady flow
i return once more
to ignite my soul
hidden deep
locked away
i will rise
soon enough
and then to stay
i will forever
end his reign
not satisfied to be the same
hidden away
and utterly plain
once more shall my ink bleed pain
upon the soul
of this insignificant friend
who would lock my madness up inside
tis time again
he'll wish he died.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Shadow Snow

onyx blade of her loves brutal blow

lands hard and deep into my soul
piercing the armor of the nights light-less glow
exposing me to her own deepened metal poison

slowly seeping sundering self
surrendering swiftly surely and supremely
to her self i cease to care if i exist

my lady love death smiles and turns away
she understands this is no mere play
this wound is real and here to stay
but not enough to take me to her

i find the pain suffocates me
leaving me blind to the the fact
that i dont bleed alone

and somewhere as i twist and turn
it strikes me
that its around her body that i writhe
and hers to mine

we slowly bleed out
into one another's waiting heart
and we cease to be two

a shadowed snow angel
formed in blood
proves as our only proof
we were never one

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The World Seems Smaller Now


The World Seems Smaller now.
i am not going to waste you time telling you why
you probably wouldnt even care if i did
when its all gone, long after me
you'll all ask what the hell did he see
i know the answers ive seen them through the flames
if you ever wonder just ask
just dont wait to long soon the world will cease to be
which is just fine with me, i dont even need to be to see
i read the flames and time runs so much quicker
i know its all over soon
i cant wait
sad i wont see
the world cease to be
i wonder when im gone if it will seem to be that much smaller without me?

Smaller Now
Smaller Everyday
Smaller without You
smaller than this wasted life
i never got a chance to be.

i wanna tell you all about it
but whats the point you'll never see
i understood once the way to happiness
was passion found inside your flame
burned alive it was the sweetest pain ive ever seen
i spent my whole life looking for you
if you knew just how much i understood
i know just what you think of me
the truth is that i am just what you said id be
but the world seems smaller now
and i dont fit.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

quench


risen and thirst quenching need drives me


i once was so free

now every night i look to see

another world that awaits me

the pain of knowing your doom is found in me

i keep drinking you in

absorbing you as you absorb me

a new life found in we

i live eternally

a gift and curse i am desperate to give thee

spark of insanity burns me until

the embers are blowing free

catching you
burning she

ill consume you
my

snow white queen

Friday, October 1, 2010

beginning again

fear isnt the end

it begins again

alone i break
yet still i rise
a phoenix i can not die

alone the fear begins again
that i may be the living end
time runs out until its gone
and the shadows forever will abound

escalating lines to tell the tale
of a moment when this god fell
accomplish little to explain the act in great detail
i who am as one alone
fear my mental space no longer my own

fear isnt the end
it has begun
again

your soul

hate lusts loves last pain

washing away like tears in the rain
there is no way we can place blame
i am not even close to sane

babble mindless
fear blinds us
rage fills
hate spills

glory in each passing word
we are just as clear as you have heard
clarity given in hopes of hate
that you will see
there is no fate

i had one once
yours blinds me still
mine was sold
by my free will
an even trade
to feel no pain

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Twilight


inside the mind of the sane
i exist to perpetrate the madness of thought
i give life to the formless
i grant voice to the chaos
your world is light, and shadows play
i am the moment before the gray
my life is without merit if it isnt shared
and i only wish there was more there
come now
taste the despair
and know forever
i am there

Monday, August 23, 2010

impulse


tick tock
ticking fox
sly as i
see us wind into one
becoming unsung
listen to the screams
no longer dreams
everything for once
is as it seems
i am closer still
my power drunk orgy
finally nearing fill
sexual impulse is almost nil
no longer fun
simply getting done
i am almost complete
your time is is as fleeting sand
running at last thin in hand
i am closer still to owning him.

Doomed


panic chaos violence discord
madness mindless destructive force
powers of pain and damnation collide
each new soul a victim tonight
forever bonded through and through
after this night i shall soar
a semi bound thought
never more.

Burning Whole




love unto the proven end
you come home again
i waken to the gentle sound
of your lust all around
your fingers seek and find
the hidden place inside my mind
my soul is found
in the lost seconds in between
the beat of your heart and the things unseen
your quickened breath
alerts my soul to the growing fire
deep in the cold
each time you flee
i fail and fall
and seem i never rise at all

join my searing burning soul
i can make you whole
each passing age
seems as though another day
has come and gone
my love ages as i do not
i am forgotten
am i not
i waken once again
to reach out and dance again
to tangle deep inside your velvet heart
my only hope is all i've ever known
yet each moment seems to pass
and alas
you pass from me with it

soon come the day
i wake no more
but inside i wish
for just one more
dance to dream
heart to glean
soul to keep
and moment to exist

fire burn me all away
but first burn eternal
my love this day
bring her home
and let her stay
and tomorrow i shall blow away.

Free Will



when in death i am found
alone
questions will a bound
again
fear not my holy ones
regret
nothing is as it seems
deception
i age no less
time
i grow no more
stagnant
i have nothing left to give
hollow
a choice was made
decision
life was made
conception
proof of forever
denial
pain was chosen
sadist
life is broken
dead

Molested




outside the world weeps
bodies moving in tangled sheets
and deep inside i am molested by
ideas
deep and with full scope
it gets ever so hard these days to cope
i often wonder if she'll care
so callus alone just sitting there
watching me as i go insane
achieving things you have not seen
darkness crawling in between
does challenge and convey the fact
that i alone am staring back
within each word a million meanings
but in not a one do i find gleaning
jewels of truth or hidden fact
i wish it all would fade to black.

Away.





even until the light fades
and shadows fail
i dream in the colors of a wail
hidden inside the burning time
a simple truth illuminates my mind
formed unto forever's end
this simple refrain screams back again

oh joyous love of my demise
bring me back between your thighs
hold me close as i fade away
draining deep inside to stay
the life i had just given free
push, push, push to me
rolling thrusts pounded home
my bone crushed to reach your inner home

as breath fades away into the the deepest black
of the nights final dawn
the light is in no hurry back
for each passing second
the shadows take you back
and as the light returns to day
i am left to wonder

why wont i fade
away

Bound: reality




As the sun greets me again
i know another day grants me another day
so hard to march on
im so sleepy
days are becoming torture
soon the night shall recede
again that hour is taken away
light grants shadows unto the shadow of my self


why cant i escape the fear
the dreams come again soon
i suspect ill fly
i will wake wishing to die
as i realize im weak inside
i cant escape the pain of being here

how long must i wait
how much shall i suffer
how can i go on
why should i try
what does it matter
i should just let him out
The End

Omega dawn, fleeting Ember
release the whole, make one the keys
free the power
bring the world to its knees
he is hate
i am he
i am born
i am need
desire grants the power we seek
drink it in, suck it down
i am closer now
reality bound


*Edit*
sorry if this makes no sense
i cant explain it
it doesnt really rhyme
it isnt supposed to
it just is.

Evaporating me

evaporating me.

a billion fake words

a trillion little lies

a gaggle of failed hopes

a tiny forgotten die

rolled forever ago to cast my fate

hidden under a desk

and i am mist


I am Lost




lost in haze
my mind a maze
3 of us confirmed inside
i wish i could watch them die
i dont know how i can be
alone i break this insanity

your life is lost to my free will
i am not just who i kill
i wont rest until im dead
inside i cant get ahead
you chose to eradicate
my soul is a random bait

demons in the form of man
arising to the promised land
your god forsakes my every breath
i all i wish is for my death
i cant stand the pain inside
you just wont let me fly
off this cliff heel over head

but i still crash land ahead
death is not for my kind
you shall all be left behind
and i await the one i lost
forever now
i am lost

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Closer To Gone





pressing into the deepest part
of the blackness in my heart
a cold wave blows its call
calling unto a slave
pulling me to my grave
the conflict of souls
polar opposite opposition offering
no remorse
i am slowly losing a controlling force
give form
given flight
i am close
so close
the night calls
i am her son
i feel as if the shadows and i are one
i accelerate faster in my mind
searching for the answers that are mine
gathering speed
mounting force
apocalypse's illuminant glow
radiates within my soul
lighting my way back home
to the shadows to which i belong
a little closer now to gone.

Drugged





heroin dreams inspire shallow thoughts
vicoden nightmares bring my release
Valium thoughts drift me off to terror filled days
nicotine withdraw calms my fingers to provide these words
marijuana waves provide halcyon days of unimagined bliss
ecstasy waves of pleasure wash over my bones
alcohol fueled orgys tear my soul away

when i lost my soul, i was found.
at the bottom of those bottles
gone away
i drift, and hope for no more days.

Being




failing in life
falling down sleep
life as love just kills me

once upon a time i endeavored to sleep
i slumbered long and deep
you forgotten in a memory rotting

then Milena later you came round again
and woke me to a miserable fate
last to know what happened to me

fear splits my soul in twain
i exist in pure pain
sleep kept me sane

forever i exist
alone in all this
i scream in a hiss

i can only weep in sheets
pouring rain illustrate
breath is fleeting

heart beating
im still needing
your still fleeing

i continue being

Scent


assaulted by my failure
hidden in my shame
surrounded by my love
lust has driven me insane
one last time to hold your scent
one last time in your sex
your furious heat
melts my resistance to temptation
losing you has cost my world a goddess true
and indeed i did weep for you
silent tears roll from my soul on the floor and there they glow
forever stained inside the grain
permanent reminder of my shame
i waited so long
i lost it all
not once but again i fail
so in spite of it all
im all alone
to watch you go
again your gone
forever i fear

alas i sit
awaiting your day
i shall alight then
and fly away

a lost and forgotten man
its ok to smile
i believe in you now as i did then

two lines, thirteen times




darkness bleeding
sadness seething

always breathing
anger seething

hidden
hated

ripped up
raided

fought and i fear
the madness i hear

souless burning
people not learning

like sheep
keep hearding

i keep hurting
souless yearning

fucked and rotten
screwed and forgotten

hidden i fear
the end is now here

blasted to hell
killing myself

burning the dead
forgoten in my head

my eyes see red
i blink your dead

Will I Ever Be




glory in the red
safe on your bed
stilling the voices in my head
vision blurred
ache in my head
lines crossed
hes coming
fading sounds
of your voice from afar
i beg you run
flee
escape from me

FREE
at last
to fix the things he thought would last
tear down his home
stop being a drone
hiding here
living in fear
older that time
born in brine
salted hate
you needed me then
and i am forever

NO
i have a life you'll ruin it again
you cant be my only friend
i will exist without you again
i can be free of your disease
but will i ever be


will i ever be
be free
im afraid hes coming to get me soon
and
i dont know what to do

An Origin in Words




conscripted in blood
consigned to terror
controlling interest in agony
commiserate conscientiously
continuing coldly

dying deep
disguised deadly
dear die
disgusting determent
due diligence done

fear
fly
live
die
exist
lie
gone
my
life

alone

i would gladly die




zero hope
null chance
forbidden joy
denied lust
rusted swings
snow colored dreams
time spent walking into the night
to find the one who bordered the light
slowly driven deeply in
only to lose you time and time again
how does time deny
the one who lives outside
governed by the laws of lies
you were taken from my eyes
given free to another fool
i exist to long for you
i await the daylights coming
that i may fade
into nothing

day does come and day doth go
i exist though the cycle goes
again you come round to me
to teach me what i should be
broken now and driven deep inside
once again on the swings i did ride
another journey lost within my mind
god laughs upon my soul
he alights the fires of my loss
exposing my failures to the world

you laugh
and i die
but to hold her one more time,


i would gladly die

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

the last day


as the lace slips up your thigh,
white as the day i wish you mine
i look to your dress and realize
i need to have you now this moment
fabric makes a sound like a sigh,
moving up your hips
i want to be inside your lust,
need to feel your heat accept my heart
gloves bracing me up,
mascara running down your cheek
as you start to weep
not quite sure what it means,
too desperate to stop
feeling the heat of your breath
now i hear you cry
slower now not to soon to die,
woman this may be our only time
for this i shall surely die


later now
your gone from me
whats the use of trying to be
anything more than the waste you see
i held you once, and that was glory
now i am hollow and lonely
face to face with the mirror man
i await fates cold hand
bottle of pills
and razors edge
death shall now take my hand
and i shall meet you in a better land


gone now
i exist
in the memory
of a kiss
on your lips
a hand uoon your hip
a torrid night i could not forgive
your the woman i could not forget.

Dwindled Dreams


the end of a dream
the death of my joy
the rotting soul inside
each and everyday
i continue to die
born that way
i exist in pain
hurt longing
pain sobbing
forever is just a dream
how can i be clean
if every time i try
i realize what it is once more to die


fuck the dream

Until i am whole.


the night calls again
red rain falls down
clouding the night air
mind racing
slept so long
hungry
so different
so rapid
the thirst runs me now
down the river of its lush
vibrancy of crimson
taste of copper roses
POWER
dead ring
heated thing
bleeding wounds
of lusts force
open now to my main course

2 years buried under
dreaming lies
found a reason
given time
risen still
i am the chill
the shudder of death
the father of nil
nul and void
empty soul
i shall drink again

until
i
am
whole.

stand tall


Void
timeless
formless
abject hate
haze in the nothing
slowly coalescing into form
a form that will be me
in time i will
breath
someday
i will see
and it will be enough for me
to know you
to care
to see you die
when there's no one there
but it wont be
enough for long
i am greedy
i want it all
soon a light going out will be to small
to see the world die
to see the wingless angels try to fly
silly people
lay down to fry
like demonic screams
it fills my eyes
my ears run rich the sight of it all

a world in flames
where i stand tall

Infected



infected
soul seeps out
through the hole in my heart
questions abound
riddles on the ground
abject desire relights the fire
or a life time ago
a lights age
of time and space
taken me back to a simpler day
when i was whole
with nary a blemish on my soul

once you light the darker side
and in the light i didnt shine
instead i died a little
and fried inside
the pain you caused
had me run from it all

embrace the pain
listen to madness refrain
the twisted sounds
re verb up from the ground
melted down
these words drown
soul infected
evil now resurrected

a life time later
the hole in my soul
allows the seeping
that denied my weeping
and emotions to flee
i look upon the eyes of the night

and nothing sees me.

memory fails my name


this is the sound of memory failing me
immortality riven from my soul
kiss my eyes i lay to sleep
risen never again
traded my life for one more chance to be
you guardian this night
and hold your fears at bay
corporeal no longer
now i am the dreaming monster
soon i lay for the last time
i take this time to say
the things i needed to share

this is the sound of the sand
running out from within my hand
spilling to the ground
with every second wasted
waiting for the last night of this
this miserable life
i am now done with this shit
time has expired
so much like my desire
i can get no higher
and so i shall crash into the floor

and then my world
is so much an open door
life's secrets laid bare
the pain is all explained there
my life is meaningless to the outside
inside its weight to much
no one should bear the thought of it
so many secrets here

i look to the sky
and wonder if mother
will shed her tears
when i die
send her rain
wash away the mistakes
the pain
my name

Seek Love


a billion souls alight
burning in the sea
sea of infidelity
cursing each pair of thighs
a foreign lust
a million tiny sighs
seeds planted and children born
forever doomed to run amok
parents died
with their hands tied
by a society who'd rather hide

this cant all be the fate
i survived this world for
why must we ignore
the instinct to abhor
fight the stupid whores
who can be no more

lust rules most everything
and people all are whores
given intellect
we choose to regret
and hide or selfs in that
children are no more
our future than
we can open doors
show them a different way

we should all die
we can no longer fly
given up on each other
we seek love in your mother.

Flying


i keep hoping that you will keep trying
fact remains you are still dying
get your fuckin gun
go get your wepon stan
while the reaper keeps grinding
the sparks are blinding
your heart to the truth
doesn't one person give a fuck about you

so keep crying
wont change the fact you are still dying
so keep trying
futile attempts to start flying

men as race are to stupid to fly
each and everyone of your spirits die
not single thing to do but keep riding
hoping in the end the flim fades
to cut black have it all fade away

so keep crying
wont change the fact you are still dying
so keep trying
futile attempts to keep flying

FIRE
burn it down
BEAT
me to the ground
FAITH
lost all my faith in you
REAPER
come cleave me in TWO

So keep keep dying
Souls
yours just are not flying


(c) Ember 2009

4 lines of truth


condemned
controlled
kindness
dead

free to fail
fail to flee
forever for a moment
a moment for never

dying to kill
killing to live
can no longer
be

i am nothing
i am dead
i am worthless
i am me

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

insanity is my name.


insane is watching her fear
insane is letting her fail
insane is the feeling of helplessness
insane is the idea shes is less than a goddess
insane is the floundering she must go through
insane is the joy i feel when i hear her voice in my head
insane is watching her be nervous on the day she should be happy
insane is the idea i can do better
insane is the need i feel for her touch
insane is this desire to hold her
insane is her smiles radiant glow
insane is her hairs bounce as it moves over her shoulders
insane is watching it all again
insane is doing this over and over thinking things will change

insane is me
insane is a love that will never be
insane is the happiness i feel for her joy

insanity is my name

a final prayer (or) moments in depair.


as the day light breaks over me i know i am doomed
till now ive lived my life for myself
its been my way for an eternity
i cant believe i lost this way
forever seemed so short, when the nights are all i see
i lost count of the meals i consumed
the nights of passionate blood lust
deepened shadows claimed her again
but that was before today

the last time i care
now the world once again has meaning
how can i live on this way
fooled again to believe i had loved you
taken back to the nights shadow i am hollow
and broken up inside your soul
you were never real to me
you were a shadow soul of the one that got away
and as i cry the blood tears fall from my eye

i am so done unwilling to be
in the absence of thee
i know i cant ever find you
I'm so sick of seeking
so much pain the passing Millenniums bring
i cant remember the last time i was free
of the pain of you and me

this is it the moments between the pain and the sin
the pain and the blame of a life with no shame
you couldn't be mine
and i couldn't be contained
so much free to read and be seen
all that mattered was your heartbeat in rhythm with mine
but now all these years gone by i understand
every passing moment is another moment i get away from you

so now as i lay me down to sleep
i pray oblivion draw me deep
if i should once more wake
i pray my life you take
ill never make it on this life

Forget

stellar dreams of gossamer web
upon my light you build your dead
lost in light soon darkness found
a place inside where souls abound
drink your fill and leave me dry
i am just a passerby
life goes on and i forget
that i exist

history


as night burns
and daylight dies
a million failed lights
of the stars burned out
life has died
death no longer lives
there is nothing

but me

i forgot long ago my name
and the sound of my voice has
not broken the silence of my
tomb in a millennium
it sours the freedom of my soul
to be so alone

but i am home

awake now such a long time
the sun burned out
the stars have no shine
the darkness cradles my every thought

and i wonder

is to live the price i must pay
for the fateful choice i made that day
i can no longer bear the thought of living here
a prison with no light

i am damned

Monster


is faith in you fair?
is fair the word we find?
with in each future a past i've seen
the past gives me a chance to change
the future a failure to be
god i hate the idea of living
so much nothing is hard to swallow
loathe me
hate my mind
give me nothing
shatter the places i hide
so much passion
for something so wrong
fear failing faster
forsake me longer
i am that monster

Condition of surrender


Condition of surrender
i give up
i give in
i gave to you
i take nothing
i ask for your love
i look to the stars above
i wait for you

you have gone away
taken from my sight
to bask in an others light
but it remains my desire
to see you achieve
the happiness i believe
your heart deserves
it is no more a fading dream
it is in fact a terrible thing

your gone
so far gone
that i feel i am not that strong
it is the term of my life
that i do long
to see you do wrong

hold me now just this once
when the break of day strikes
and i am thrust awake
it is with you
my soul you'll take
and i shall live another day
upon my heart your namesake
and on that day i finally sleep
the dream of you
from which i wont awake
it is my fate
to take my place
upon your heart
and rest until
the heavens quake
when at last you
forget my given name
I'll still love your soul
until you remember the thing that's true
my eternal soul, is forever in love with you.

remember?


love
hurts
i
hate
you
smile
heart
sinks
this
pain
given
free
means
endless
torture
in
me
i
am
whole
no
more
to
be
a
single
thing
beyond
memory
.........
..........
.........
.......
..... remember?

War


upon a darkened day
my soul seeks to play
free among the stars
the hatred whispers from afar
"join me now, and let us play, a billion souls we will reap today"
i run off sailing to great the wind
confident i shall rise again
power swell, as people yell
slaughter evident in every resident
many souls and blood did fall
all so i could stand up tall
war you see is the name that was given me
by he the most high
great deceiver of the sky
i ride a red horse, and children fear me most
i am war
i shall ride until the children of god, are no more.

untitled (for now)


inside a line of broken words
a million lies in a single verb
love is a cursed fucking word
a paragraph of every lie
each and every line a memory stitched in time
a reminder of the places and people who left me behind
my life is so, as i made it be
and you wont hear a fucking thing from me
not a complaint
not a rhyme
not one lousy little alibi

all choices made were made by me
even if not the person i thought i should be
a broken heart
and shattered core
a stupid bastard without a soul
people hurt and thats a fact
even if i could id never take it back

i cant make you understand
dont ask me to, im still a man
not in the sense of a macho thing
but as a human i fail to be
just like you and i hate that
but i am soon gone and not coming back
if you had just one last chance
would you ever wanna face me like that?

Feed Me


Fear i smell it once more
I'm gonna stalk to be made whole
i feel the cold once more
and i know i failed my last chance
not another moment spent
the blackness is bent to consume
i need to feel your blood race to bleed
your manic need
my will to feed
ill consume you
take your soul
leave you just like me
broken, dying, cold
i am not
nor can i be
the human being
you think you see
i am he that manifest
maniac psychopath

no longer do i fear the darkest path
im headed to a place
and im not coming back
sick of this lie
not another moment

FEED ME

Passions Embrace



passions embrace

nights in your arms

each morning wakes to take away

the dreams that make me stay

life is not what i want see

another day to restrain you from me

i yearn to see you free

to make another choice

so long ago

a moments hesitation

cost me life worth living

is it any wonder people fear

that tomorrow comes and i'll not appear

death i find a welcome choice

opposed to the empty screaming voice

but i am strong

and i will not embrace a thing so cheap

as to take the nights that make me see

that i will have another moment to bleed

passions embrace taken from me

Seven Deadly Sins


Seven Deadly Sins

Lust is growing swelling and burns

Like a Glutton each passing word inspires my need for more

Greed exceed my understanding and i seem to offer up anything for one more word

Cant be Lazy to nourish this thing, this all consuming fire

Every passing second of silence fuels my burning Ire

In the passing moments of the cold dark night, i envy how he steals your fire

in my fall i recognize the Pride i take in my desire, who is he that i can not best

These seven sins are nothing like the rest

I Hide


beaten broken battered and scarred
reavers reap and roam near and far
hedonistic heretic happens to herald
harsh happenings here and now
alone i break and bound for the floor
i fall faster than the falling comets causing chaos
fear failing faster furthering fallen souls
seeping seratonin separates our soul
hate hears he who has no soul
she sees my smile and sees not the serration
serrated smile sings of death and calm

i hide behind a serrated grin

Watch it fall


insanity drips pouring from the open wound
absconding with my every waking mood
feeling less
wanting more
i exist
im not a whore
never satisfied
i need it now
give it too me
im not asking how
please release me
let me flow
watch it drip
down it goes
from deep inside
when i did explode
a new life maybe
another go
ill give it too you
this stabbing hate
over and over
deep and late
early and shallow does my breath fall
ill give it too you
and watch it fall

absence of me


yeah i get it
im an outcast
hated reviled
living life
never looking back
as if i gave a fuck about that
im mad as hell
and kickin back
you cant imagine
the pain inside the mind of midnight
darkness swallows me
like a woman on her knees

pushing back against you
is my idea of being free
this thing is all i need
so be it i'm me
and don't give a fuck
about what you see
you can never reach the plateau
to even see me
what the hell gives you the right
to vilify and condemn
you who mindlessly await
the living end
once more and alone
sheep until the end

i rage in the light
exposed as the shade
another worthless nothing
lost and inside
breathing beating
filling the desperate void
created in you with the
absence of me